Curiosity Vs Judgement...always choose Curiosity.
Not too long ago, we were at the beach. The one thing I love most is being at the ocean. I live for it, it's one of my favorite things in the world.
We drive 90 minutes to get there. Once we arrive we all jump out excited. Well, except for my youngest, he refuses to get out of the car.
My initial emotions are anger and frustration. I am pissed. I try to convince him that he needs to get out of the car. He pouts but finally sits on the beach in a chair. I start imagining the entire day with our youngest refusing to get in the ocean and sitting and whining. Lord help me it's going to be a long day. Down the rabbit hole of imaging the worst.
But then I catch myself. Be curious and stop judging, enough with the brain drama. I start paying attention and being a detective. Maybe something is going on with him and he can’t verbalize what it is.
I think back to when we first arrived, and how he complained about the sea shells on the beach. How he walked all the way to the edge of the water and left his flip-flops next to the water about to get swept away by the ocean. I think about the fact that he keeps complaining that the beach has WAY too many shells on it. That it isn't as clean as the other beach we went to the last time.
He's sidestepping all the seashells most of which are cracked. I stay in curiosity and ask him what are you doing? "Mom, I really do NOT want to want to cut my feet on the shells. I don’t want to go to the emergency room and get stitches. "
Well this boy is wired like his mama. He’s a definite worrier.
And because I was being curious instead of defaulting to mind drama, I was able to figure out that the real issue was: he didn’t want to step on the shells and cut himself.
I sigh a sense of relief that I have figured it out.
He and I get ice cream at the shop next to the beach. The shop has kids water shoes for sale so I buy him a pair bright of blue orange and neon green, the ones that he picks out. He tries them on, smiles a huge ice cream smile and says:
"Mom I think this will work"
Within two minutes the kid who was resisting leaving the car is now into the ocean up to his neck, jumping in the waves. He takes the water shoes off in the deeper water and hands them to me and says "I don’t need these now mom."
Best $10 I ever spent.
The moral of the story?
Sometimes we need to stop judging and just pay attention and be curious. This is what I want you to do when it comes to your niche. Stop judging yourself, start getting curious. There is no way you will find the answer by beating yourself up and judging yourself. The solution to your dilemma involves being curious about what is going on in your brain and paying attention. Being a detective. In fact that’s where all the solutions to all of your problems lay.