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You'll never get "THERE".

Our brains are wired to think of our goals in the following way: once I get THERE, then I will be HAPPY. It's something that runs rampant in our culture.

Once I go to high school, then I will be happy.

Once I graduate high school, and get in to the "right" college then I will be happy.

Once I graduate college, and get the right job, then I will be happy.

Once I meet the right person to marry, then I will be happy.

Once we have kids then I will be happy.

Once the kids sleep through the night, can take care of themselves, go off to school, then I will be happy. Once the kids are off to college, get their first job, are no longer financially dependent on me, then I will be happy.

Once my kids get married, then I will be happy. Once I make enough money, then I will be happy.

Once I can retire, get out of credit card dept, get a better job, then I will be happy.

Once my spouse/kids/boss/the current political climate changes, then I will be happy.

And on and on and on...you get the idea. But here is the thing. Once we get "there" we are happy for a bit, but then it becomes the next hurdle we need to get over, that will bring us happiness.


The equation goes something like this:

Currently unhappy + Perceived thing that needs to change=Happiness.


I call it the "Happily Ever After Syndrome". Why because we've been taught that if we can "get" whatever it is that is over the next hill, then we will live happily ever after. But the happily ever after never occurs. And we continue on the hamster wheel, perpetuating the cycle. Until we are at the end of our lives, and if we are lucky, we take our last few breathes with our loved ones and family surrounding us, and THAT's when I think it truly hits-there is no Happily ever after. So what to do? What if the equation was more like this: Currently unhappy + creating ways of enjoying being in the moment +working on our internal dialogue with ourselves =Happiness

We've been sold a fake bill of goods. Having the latest whatever (car, job, spouse, shoes, purse etc) ultimately isn't what leads to happiness. Plus happiness 100% of the time isn't feasible. We live in a 50/50 of waves that go up and down. Changing things outside of us, is just something we do to distract ourselves the normal ebb and flow of our emotions. There is no "There" where we are happy 100% of the time. And this applies directly to your Niche as a Life Coach. Our brain defaults to thinking once we "get the right Niche" then we will be happy. And the truth is, you will be happy to have clarity around your Niche, but then the it'll be the next thing. (Colors of your website, Signature Package, Pricing, Making offers, Hitting your Income goals, Getting a certain number of clients. ) You get the idea. Have you ever read the Little Bear Books? There is a story in the book called "What will Little Bear Wear." It's one my mom used to read to me. Little bear is playing in the snow. He keeps asking his mama for more warm clothes (a hat, a scarf, snow pants, a coat, mittens) and keeps coming back saying that he is still cold. Mama bear finally asks if what he needs is a fur coat. And he says "Yes!!". Out he goes without any of the snow clothes and he happily plays in the snow. You need to check it out:

https://www.amazon.com/Little-Bear-Can-Read-Book/dp/0064440044/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=Little+bear+book&qid=1602508680&sr=8-1




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Veronique Vaillancourt

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